Hammer Time
by AngelofAperture
Summary: Felix loses his magic gold hammer in another game. But he doesn't know which one! Sgt. Calhoun and Vanellope help him look for it while trying to keep it a secret from the Nicelanders and Ralph to keep them from worrying. Shenanigans ensue. It's not high art, just a fun and entertaining little story about Felix slowly having a hilarious mental breakdown.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Game Hopping

"Hey, Fix-It!" Vanellope called as the trolley was pulling up. She saw Felix up on the roof of the Niceland apartment buidling. The arcade had just closed and he and the Nicelanders were still on the roof from the last game.

"Oh, hi, Vanellope!" Felix called to her. "Ralph's on the other side of the building in the mud puddle if want him!"

"I don't want Ralph! I want you!" Vanellope told him.

"Oh, okay! I'll be right down," Felix replied.

"WHAT?" Vanellope shouted.

"I SAID I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN!" Felix yelled down from the top of the building.

"I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Vanellope screamed. Felix was beginning to suspect this was a joke.

"**I SAID I'D BE RIGHT DOWN SO JUST WAIT THERE!**" Felix screamed at the top of his lungs. The Nicelanders, in all of 30 years of their game, had never heard Felix scream like that.

"OH, OKAY!" Vanellope shouted up at him. Felix and the Nicelanders (along with the Q*Bert characters) got down from the top of the building. Felix made his way over to the trolley stop to see what Vanellope wanted.

"Now what can I do for you, little lady?" Felix asked her in his usual friendly tone.

"Could you come over to Sugar Rush for a little?" asked Vanellope. "We had some real amateurs playing today and they busted up our karts real good!"

"Why certainly!" Felix said. "Why don't you go get Ralph and we'll head on over?" Vanellope gave her cutest, giddiest smile and scampered off to get Ralph.

They made their way over to Sugar Rush where a few of the other racers were waiting. Vanellope was certainly right. Their cars were nearly totaled. "Oh, thank god, that repair guy!" Taffyta exclaimed upon seeing Felix. "Look what those idiot gamers did to my car!"

"Three of my car's wheels are gone!" Candlehead complained.

"Wait, Candlehead, I thought only two of the wheels came off," Minty Zaki said.

"Well, I got hungry!" Candlehead told her.

"Girls, its okay!" Felix said. "I got it covered!" He took his golden hammer from his tool belt.

"No, you gotta say it," said Vanellope. "Say the thing!"

"What thing?" Felix asked.

"You know! The thing!" Vanellope said with a big doofy grin on her face.

Felix sighed and gave an amused smile, "**I can fix it!**" he proclaimed, holding his hammer up. Vanellope made a little happy squealing noise.

"Okay, Vanellope," said Ralph. "Stop being royally annoying and let Felix work."

"_Presidentially_ annoying!" Vanellope corrected him as she hopped up on Ralph's shoulder. Ralph rolled his eyes.

Felix got right to work fixing Vanellope, Taffyta, Candlehead, and Minty Zaki's cars. Using his magic hammer, he pretty much fixed them up in no time flat. "Okay, ladies, that should do it!" he said once he was finished.

"Oh my god! What was that, like three minutes?" Tafftya said in disbelief. "How'd you do that so fast?!"

"Easy!" said Felix. "My magic golden hammer!" He held up his hammer to show the girls.

"Ooooh, sparkly!" Candlehead said, mesmerized. "Where did you get it?"

"From my dad, Fix-It Felix, Sr." Felix told them.

"What do you do I your game, exactly?" asked Minty.

"Well, Ralph there breaks the windows to the Niceland apartment buidlings," said Felix. "And I fix them with my this magic hammer!"

"Wait," Vanellope spoke up. "It's a _hammer _that fixes _windows_. I just realized that makes no sense."

"We're an 8-Bit game from the 80's," said Ralph. "The same generation as a game about a gorilla throwing barrels at you and a yellow circle that eats dots! By comparison, our game is realistic!"

"Oh, that reminds me!" Felix said. "Tammy and I promised Pac-Man and his wife we'd meet up with him at Tapper's."

"Who's Tammy?" asked Vanellope.

"Sgt. Calhoun," Ralph replied. "Her first name is Tammy, short for Tamora," Suddenly, Vanellope burst out laughing. "What's so funny?"

"Tammy?! Really?" Vanellope said through her laughing. "A big tough drill sergeant is actually named Tammy?! That's like the least scariest name ever!"

"Anyway!" Felix said, trying to stop Vanellope from continuing her spiel. "I better get goin'!"

Felix headed off to Hero's Duty while Vanellope and Ralph stayed in Sugar Rush. Felix hadn't seen Calhoun all day; he was really staring to miss her. He was wary when entering Hero's Duty incase of any remaining Cy-Bugs. He glanced around and crept in. When he saw Calhoun from the back, he instantly calmed down. He knew he was safe when she was around. "Hi, sweetie!" he called to his wife. Out of nowhere, she screamed something and started shooting in his direction! "No, honey! It's just me!" Felix shouted, dodging every blast.

Calhoun immediately stopped shooting, "Oh, jeez, sweetums, you know you can't sneak up on me like that!" She walked over to calm down Felix, whose heart was in his throat as he was hyperventilating and shaking. "Sorry, sweetie! Just be more careful next time."

Felix nodded swiftly. "Um…are you ready to go to Tapper's?" he asked, his voice shuddering.

"Oh yeah! That was tonight, wasn't it?" Calhoun remembered.

"Hey, Tammy…" said Felix.

"Hmm?"

"Is it okay if I cry?" Felix's teeth were chattered as he spoke.

Calhoun sighed and said, "Go ahead."

After around fifteen minutes, Felix was able to pull himself together enough for them to be on their way to Tapper's. They –like Felix said earlier –met up with Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man as sort of a double date kind of thing. Felix said it was just to be neighborly, but Calhoun was sure it was just another futile attempt of Felix's to get her to be more social. Futile being the key word. She always told him that she wasn't the most pleasant person to be around in social situations. People always seemed a little terrified of her.

When they finally got out of Tapper's, Felix invited Calhoun to come back to the Fix-It Felix, Jr. game with him. Calhoun agreed as long as she didn't have to talk to those Nicelanders. She said it was because they were too overly cheerful when really it was because she was just a tad jealous whenever one of the lady Nicelanders got too friendly with Felix.

Calhoun was happy to have some alone time with Felix once they got back to his game. However, the Nicelander, Mary, who was coming outside to see Felix, impeded this happiness (for Calhoun, at least). "Oh, Felix!" Mary called to him. "Could you fix something for me?"

"Oh, you know I can!" said Felix, in a friendly tone. "What needs fixin'?"

"Just an old necklace I have," she replied, holding out a silver necklace with a snapped chain.

"No problem!" said Felix. "I can fix it!" He reached for his hammer, but something was wrong… It wasn't there. His heart stopped. He felt all over his tool belt, yet came up empty. He bit his lip and forced a smile as he said, "Well, ain't that just the darndest thing! I seem to have misplaced it! I'm sure I just left it on my nightstand or somethin'! Sorry 'bout that!"

"Oh, that's just fine, Felix," said Mary. "You can fix it tomorrow! I don't want to intrude on your time with Ms. Calhoun." She went back into the apartment building and as soon as she was through those doors, Felix began to silently freak out.

"Yeah, well you just did," Calhoun said in response to what Mary said.

"Oh lordy, where did it go?!" Felix cried as he seached his tool belt again.

"Felix, what's the matter?!" Calhoun grabbed him trying to calm him down.

"My hammer is gone!" he shouted. Calhoun shushed him.

"You said you just left it in your room!" said Calhoun.

"That was a lie! I didn't want her to start to panic!" Felix admitted. "Without that hammer, this game's as good as unplugged! I just had it when I was back at Sugar Rush! Then I went to your game and then Tapper's. And if someone picked it up… Oh my land! It could be anywhere!"

"Calm down!" she shouted at him. "Like you said, we can't let the others in this game know about this or else they'll start panicking. So you have to stop worrying about—"

"Stop worrying?!" Felix shouted hysterically. "How am I supposed to stop worrying!? I'm _nothing _without that hammer! My entire character hinges on that thing! It's the whole point of the game! Ralph breaks the windows and I fix them with my magic hammer and…Yeah, Vanellope's right, that does make no sense. But it's still the point of the game! I need it or else they'll think the game's busted and we'll get unplugged, and we'll al be homeless and —" Calhoun slapped him to snap him out of his hysteria. Indeed it worked.

"Sorry, honey," she said. "You know how much I hate doing that."

"It's…fine, I sort of like it."

"What?!"

"Nothing! My point is, we gotta find that hammer!"

Calhoun thought for a moment until coming up with a plan. "Okay, I've got it! You said you were in Sugar Rush earlier, we'll go there and you retrace your steps. Think back to what you were doing and where you were. If it's not there, we'll search in my game. It might have fallen off your belt when…you know, that thing happened. If not there, we'll check back at Tapper's."

Felix smiled at her and said, "You're so smart! Where would I be without you?" Calhoun smiled back at him.

"You would be dead," she said bluntly, referring to the whole Cy-Bug invasion of Sugar Rush. "Alright, let's move it!" She and Felix ran off to Game Central station. Suddenly, Felix had a terrifying notion.

"What if I dropped it in here?" Felix inquired. "You know, goin' between game? Jiminy, anyone could've picked it up!"

"Stay focused, sweetie," said Calhoun. "First Sugar Rush, then Hero's Duty, then Tapper's, and if we can't find it any of those places…"

"We start panicking?!" Felix freaked out for a split second.

"Well, yeah, I guess that would be appropriate," she said. "But right now! We go to Sugar Rush!"

"Right! Okay! How about I go to Sugar Rush and you go back to your game and look?"

"Good thinking, sweetums!" she said before she took his advice and headed back to Hero's Duty. Felix always loved it when she would talk to him in her stern drill sergeant tone, but still refer to him as "honey" or "sweetums".

Felix hurried off to Sugar Rush, praying his precious hammer would still be there. He took a deep breath and went into the game.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Getting Worse All the Time

Felix had found the location where he had fixed up Vanellope, Taffyta, Candlehead, and Minty's cars. He was tearing the place up and didn't find any sign of his hammer. After pretty much ripping apart a gummy bush, he finally gave up. He dropped to the ground and just started to break down and cry. He was happy Calhoun wasn't there to see him cry twice in one day.

"Hey, Fix-It! Whatcha doin'!" shouted Vanellope as she popped out from seemingly nowhere.

"Vanellope!" Felix jumped. "Please! I've already been scared out of my mind enough today. I lost my hammer and I'm worried enough as it is!"

"You lost your hammer?!" Vanelloped exclaimed in shock. "But you're nothing without that thing! That's like the whole point of your game!"

"Oh, don't remind me!" Felix cried. "Wait! Vanellope!" Felix got an idea. "Could you search Sugar Rush for me? You know this world better than I do! You know where everything is! You could find it easy."

"Hey, for you, Fix-It! Anything!" Vanellope winked at him.

"Oh, thank you!" Felix has never felt such a confusing mesh of worry and relief. "I have to go search Tapper's, you search here! Oh, and whatever you do, don't tell Ralph!" Felix had an anxious look in his eyes and he started talking faster and faster out of this anxiety. "He'll tell the other characters in my game and everyone's going to start getting worked up and I can barely control myself right now, I don't need anyone getting worried about this, especially Q*Bert and his buddies, I meant, they were already homeless once and I'm just veering off into a run-on sentence, aren't I? Yeah, I am. Okay? Okay! Look here, I'll look there!" Vanellope could clearly see Felix was going completely insane.

Felix rushed off to Tapper's as fast as he could. He attempted to put on a straight face to approach the bartender. "Excuse me, sir," Felix said in a faux calm tone.

"Yeah?" replied the bartender.

"Do you know if maybe perhaps anyone picked up, say, a magical golden hammer that can fix anything? I may have left it behind when I was here earlier in the evening."

"I didn't see one," replied the bartender. "But if someone did find it, it'd be in the lost and found in the back."

"Thank you, sir, I'll look there!" Felix didn't know how much longer he could fake being calm.

Felix went to the backroom and dug through the Lost and Found box. However, no luck there. All he found was a starman, a PlumbBob, a power pellet, and a bunch of gold rings. He searched up and down the bar, but it wasn't anywhere to be found. He tried not to completely freak out again. Well, he was freaking out, but calmly. He was screaming on the inside. "Well, maybe someone found it and returned it to my game," he thought to himself, trying desperately to calm himself down. "Yeah, I'll check there!"

He made his way back to his game but not before scanning every inch of Game Central Station. A lot of the various game characters were looking at him like he was crazy. Which was a valid assumption at this point. Once he was back in Niceland he nervously entered the apartment building. He saw a few Nicelanders inside who were about to go up to there apartments. They warmly greeted Felix as he tried to hide how distressed he was. Luckily, they didn't notice (they're a little dense). "So…" he nervously said to them. "Anyone stop by? Like, from another game?"

"Nope," said one of the Nicelanders. "It's been pretty quiet tonight! We haven't even seen Q*Bert or Ralph. Everyone must be busy." Felix nodded, not caring what came after the "nope", while faking a smile. It practically hurt to smile at this point.

"Well, then," he said. "I guess I'll be going…" Felix rushed up to his apartment where he gradually became more and more flustered the more he thought about the consequences of not having that hammer were. The game would be unplugged and they'd all lose their homes. He wasn't sure how to break it to Q*Bert and his friends that they'd all be homeless and starving again. His mind was going a mile a minute until he had to force himself to stop thinking. Unfortunately, the only way he found to do that was by accidently banging his head against the wall. "Well," he said, nursing his headache. "Vanellope and Tammy haven't gotten back to me yet! There's a good chance it's in one of those games…yeah. Right! Can't start bein' a worrywart now! It's pointless to worry, I mean, I'm getting' all worked up over nothing and – Who the heck am I talking to?! I'm goin' crazy! Vanellope, Tammy, where are you!? I need that hammer!" He then heard the doorknob rattling, like someone was trying to get in. Felix, hoping it was someone with his hammer, ran over to answer the door.

Suddenly, the door swung open, bashing him right in the face! He was knocked to the floor. "Hey, Felix!" It was Vanellope. "I couldn't find the–Ooh, your nose!" Felix was on the floor with his hands over his nose, which was gushing blood.

"I think it's broken!" Felix said in pain, his hands muffling the sound of his voice.

Vanellope had a wave of guilt crash over her. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Vanellope was desperate to be forgiven. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"I forgive you!" Felix said just to make her stop. He looked in a mirror and poked at his swelling nose a little to evaluate the damage. He found that this was a terrible idea. "Jiminy Christmas, that smarts!" he shouted.

"I had this happen to me during a race once!" Vanellope said. "You just…wait, what did I do? I know I broke my nose one time… What did I do to help it?"

"You had me heal it with my hammer," Felix told her.

"Oh, that's right!" Vanellope remembered. But the happiness of realization soon faded. "Oh…that's right… The hammer. I never found it. Um, okay, I'll…I'll get some ice!" Vanellope ran into the kitchen to fetch Felix an icepack. Just then, Calhoun came up to the apartment. The door was still open.

"Felix, I couldn't find your–WHOA!" Calhoun said when she saw Felix with blood all over his face and hands. "What the holy hotcakes happened to you?"

"I walked into a door," Felix said, again, his voice muffled. "Vanellope accidentally opened it on my face."

"And I said I was sorry!" Vanellope shouted from the kitchen.

"It's purple!" commented Calhoun. "Man, we need to find your hammer so you can fix this fast." Vanellope came back with a plastic bag filled with ice wrapped in paper towels.

"Thanks, Vanellope," Felix said as he tried to put the ice pack to his face without hurting himself.

"Wait, how did you reach the freezer?" Calhoun queried. "You're like two foot nothin'."

"Never mind that. We gotta find that hammer," said Felix.

"No, honey, you're hurt!" Calhoun urged him to stay behind.

"But I won't be hurt if we get out there and find my hammer!" Felix told her.

"We gotta, Sarge!" Vanellope insisted. "We don't want their game getting unplugged! Or do you want to see them suffer?!"

"Of course I don't!" Calhoun snapped back at her.

"Then lets go out an find that hammer that somehow fixes shatter windows!" Vanellope said as if it were and overly long battle cry.

"I can't feel my face," Felix informed them.

Felix, Calhoun, and Vanellope went outside and were heading back to Game Central Station.

"Hey, Felix," said Vanellope. "We're still in your game, what if you just died and regenerated? Would that heal you?"

"We don't have time for that!" said Calhoun.

"Hey, guys!" they heard from behind them. It was Ralph. "What are you three up to?"

Calhoun turned to Ralph, "Oh, we're just escorting Vanellope back to her game. Making sure she stays safe." She _so _did not sound like she was hiding something.

"Oh, mind if I come along?" asked Ralph.

"No, it's fine! We're good!" said Vanellope, just as worried as Felix about the others finding out what happened. "You just got back, I'd hate to make you leave again!" They tried to get out of the conversation and kept moving. Ralph, curious about their strange behavior, ran up in front of them. It was then he noticed Felix's broken nose.

"Felix! What happened to your nose?!" Ralph asked.

"Oh, that?" Calhoun replied as if it was nothing. "He walked into a door." It was only then Calhoun realized how bad that sounded coming from her.

"Oh, really?" Ralph asked, suspicious. Calhoun heard the skepticism in his voice. She forced a smile. All three of them found they've had to do that a lot. Ralph looked down at Felix whose nose was still bleeding. "Felix, why don't you just use your hammer to heal yourself? You can do that, right?"

"…Huh? Oh, yeah!" Felix felt a little woozy, thus the delayed reaction. "But I think I left it back in Hero's Duty by accident! Tammy, dear, we should go get it!"

"You're right!" said Calhoun, playing along. "Come on, Vanellope! We'll take you home right afterwards."

"No, it's fine," said Ralph. "I'll get Vanellope home." Felix and Calhoun didn't think they could talk their way in or out of anything at this point, so they just let Vanellope stay with Ralph. As soon as Calhoun and Felix were out of sight, Ralph picked up Vanellope and began to question her. "What is going on, Vanellope!?" he demanded to know.

"Okay, look," Vanellope began, sounding like she was about reveal everything. "We _are not _looking for Felix's lost hammer that he lost in another game and is now freaking out about how he can't find it. …_Are not _doing that."

"Is that right? And how about Felix's nose? What happened to that?"

"Okay, I know how Sarge put it sounded _really _bad! But he actually did run into a door! I mean, that's happened to everyone! You know how it goes! Walk, walk, walk, **BAM!** I know. I'm the one that did it! I was trying to open the door. He comes up to open it, **BAM!** Broken nose! You should have _seen _all that blood! I'm seriously surprise he's not like anemic at this point!"

"So, if he _does _have his hammer, who doesn't he just heal himself?" asked Ralph.

Instead of thinking of a witty cover, Vanellope said, "Hey! Would you look at the time! I gotta get back to Sugar Rush! You know how it is, being the president of a whole game!" Vanellope zipped off out of the game, didn't even bother with the trolley, just ran on the tracks.

"Hey, Q*Bert!" Ralph called out. Q*Bert came hopping up to him. "Tell your game's characters to keep a lookout for Felix's hammer. I'm pretty sure he lost it. And when you get done telling them, tell anyone else who can understand you."

" #$^=!" Q*Bert replied. He hopped off to tell anyone to keep a lookout.

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope you're all enjoying the story! I have this kind of sick sense of humor and whenever I write a story I always see how much metal and physical pain I can put my main character through while it still being funny. Hopefully you all think this funny so far. 'Cause if you don't, I must just be a sick, sick person. Especially since I ADORE Felix.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Hopeless

After searching game after game, Calhoun, Vanellope, and especially Felix were exhausted. It was then the deep seeded genuine fear of the Fix-It Felix, Jr. game being unplugged set in. They were sitting next to the entrance to his game by a wall in Game Central Station. Felix's nose had mostly stopped bleeding. It was still swollen and purple and hurt like heck though. Felix couldn't have cared less about that though.

"Well, come tomorrow, I can say goodbye to my game!" said Felix, feeling crushed.

"We still have time!" Vanellope tried to reassure him. "We got all night, don't we?"

"We've checked every game!" said Felix. "We're exhausted, I feel terrible, and I feel guilty for making you two run around for me."

"It's okay, I forgive you," said Vanellope, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Calhoun gave Vanellope an irritated look, "The correct answer is, 'There's no reason to feel guilty, Felix, because we completely understand.' And I do. I don't want you losing your home, sweetie."

"You're too sweet, honey pie," Felix said to Calhoun. They smiled warmly at each other, but it didn't last long.

"Hey, Felix!" they heard a voice call out. It was Ralph again. "I just want you to know that we got games all over the arcade searching for you!"

"Searching for hi…Vanellope, what have you been telling him?" asked Calhoun.

"What? Me? I didn't say anything!" Vanellope defended herself.

"Did you tell him about my hammer?" Felix asked, completely vexed (or at least as much as he could, being hard-wired for niceness).

"No! No!" said Vanellope. " I said we _weren't _looking for your hammer! I said it _was not _missing!"

Calhoun gave an irritated groan as she put her hand to her face. "Did you stop to think that maybe sounds a bit suspicious?" Calhoun asked, quiet but annoyed.

"You wanna know what else sounds suspicious?" asked Vanellope. "A spouse, who is clearly much taller and stronger than her partner, saying that said partner got that broken nose when he ran into a door!"

"Okay, I considered that," said Calhoun. "But see, that actually did happen! You're the one that did it!"

"And I apologized!" Vanellope argued. "But I'm just saying, coming for you it sounds a little weird."

"I mean, yes it sounds a little suspect at first, but you know, you look at our track record and we have a very loving relationship! There's no sign of abuse at all! I mean, look at him! How could I possibly bring myself to hurt him? …Well, aside from the time I had to slap some sense into him."

"Ya see?!" Vanellope shouted.

"I didn't want to do it!" Calhoun yelled back. "Beside I think he get some weird form of pleasure out of it… But you should just accuse me of things!"

"Ladies, please!" Felix shouted. "None of that matters now! We're never going to find that hammer! It's no one's fault but my own and fighting over…whatever the heck you were fighting over isn't going to help me now. Someone must have stolen it or somethin'. My game's getting unplugged the second a gamer notices it's missing. It's hopeless…"

"Uh, yeah, as I was saying," Ralph interjected. "I know that your hammer's missing! Vanellope should really get some acting lessons or something. Anyway, Q*Bert and I told everyone in the arcade and they all agreed to pitch in and help look for your hammer."

"Wait, so…no one's panicking?" asked Felix.

"No, not really," replied Ralph. "Someone's gotta find that thing eventually! But I gotta ask, why didn't you just say something from the start? We're more than happy to help you out."

"I didn't want to worry anyone," Felix told him.

"Well, if the game was unplugged without warning, I think everyone would be worried even more!" Ralph said. Felix did feel a little stupid for not enlisting more help from the start. Especially after that explanation.

"Excuse me," a young voice said. They looked over and saw Taffyta, Candlehead, and Minty Zaki. Taffyta spoke up, "Mr. Fix-It Felix, we…have something that belongs to you." Candlehead stepped forward and held out Felix's magic golden hammer!

Felix's face just lit up with joy, "Sweet mother of Miyamoto! My hammer! Where did you find it?"

"Well, we didn't find it, exactly," said Candlehead.

"We sort of…took it," Minty admitted. Taffyta elbowed her to keep her quiet.

"Took it? I demand to know why!" Calhoun ordered.

"Well, we…" Taffya was clearly running through all her best excuses before she just broke down and said, "You have no idea how much broken stuff we had! I mean, seriously! You think we only have one car each?!"

"The roads are full of potholes!" said Candlehead. "Oh, an don't get me started on the bumps!"

"I know, I know!" said Vanellope. "The maintenance guys are really slow!"

"But we don't need the maintenance guy if we have Felix's hammer!" Minty told them.

"It can really fix all that?" Vanellope wondered out loud. "Hey, Fix-It, if your magic hammer can really fix anything, how'd you like to come on board as our official mechanic and road repairman?"

"I'd love to!" Felix said with a smile.

"As for you three!" said Vanellope turned to Taffyta, Candlehead, and Minty. "I can't just let this theft slide."

"We deserve any punishment you give us, Miss President," Candlehead pitifully said.

"You are never allowed to race again," Vanellope decreed.

"NOOOOOO!" the three girls shouted in unison before they all dropped to their knees and began crying hysterically.

"Nah, I'm just messin' with you!" Vanellope laughed. "You're just not allowed to race for a day. Okay?"

"Okay!" Taffyta agreed, the three still sobbing.

Calhoun stood up and helped Felix off the floor. She smiled down at him, genuinely happy the everything was going to be just fine. "And how 'bout your nose, huh?" she asked.

"I can fix it!" Felix said, winking at Calhoun. He bashed the hammer right into his face, instantly heeling his broken nose.

"Hooray for retro game logic!" Vanellope cheered.

"I guess I really am useless without this thing," said Felix.

"Felix," said Calhoun. "You may rely on that hammer for your game and to heal the occasional serious injury, but it doesn't define you. Well, maybe it does a little, seeing how, you know, you're name. But it doesn't make you who you are! I love you, magical fixing powers or not!"

"Aw, Tammy!" Felix said, looking at Calhoun with loving eyes. "You're givin' me the honey glow in my cheeks!"

"Givin' you the what now?" Vanellope confusingly asked.

"Don't ask," said Ralph. "It's just one of his Felix-isms."

"Aw, but you don't mind em', right Tammy?" asked Felix, regarding his "Felix-isms".

"Their cute," Calhoun chuckled.

Suddenly, Vanellope started laughing. "Tammy! I still can't believe that's your name! I mean, it's a great name, but it's just so…I mean, look at you!"

"Get back to your game, Miss President!" Calhoun said to her, clearly annoyed.

"Yes ma'am…" Ralph escorted Vanellope back to her game and Felix escorted Calhoun back to hers. They were all quite relieved that no game was getting unplugged and Felix wasn't going complete insane.

The End!

* * *

**This was such a fun little story to write. Though I can't say I'm 100% happy with this last chapter. I don't feel like enough happened. Meh, it's just a fan fic, I should really just relax. Hope you all like it! I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors.**


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